Spam E-mail

Spam e-mail I received today:

Did you know that a recent survey showed that 85% of women actually get aroused by a man who produces "above average" semen amounts? With our pills, she'll be speechless... and defiantly coming back for more... http://wetae.com

It's so true. You often hear conversations from women that go along the lines of:

Woman 1: "I like tall guys, preferably dark and handsome."
Woman 2: "I'm not too bothered about looks, but they have to make me laugh and have a caring nature."
Woman 3: "I'm not too bothered about looks or personality but I'll tell you something, they have to able to produce a hell of a lot of spunk. Hell yes."






On another note I will update my website when life calms down a little bit...

Not necessary

Topman

Topman is a brilliant shop if:

a) You want a cardigan
b) You are Dermot O'Leary.
c) You want to look like Dermot O'Leary
d) You are Dermot O'Leary and looking to buy a cardigan

New Running Shoes

I thought that as this week is 18 weeks before the London Marathon, and my training plan started yesterday, I would treat myself to a new pair of shoes. As I'm a man, and we love being sold gadgets and other needlessly expensive things I was talked in to buying the most expensive pair of running shoes in the world. No word of a lie, the lady in the specialist running shop (who was actually very nice) honestly used the words 'NASA', 'Rhinoceros skin' and 'Spacemaster' when describing these shoes during our twenty minute conversation.

Apparently the shoes were 5 years in development (which is probably longer than it will take to invade Iraq, take all their oil and develop a new government. Actually, maybe not the government bit), have bits that are made of a newly developed Japanese mesh material called 'Spacemaster-UV1', which obviously means nothing whatsoever, but just sounds so cool. Spacemaster-UV1 was apparently developed by observing the properties of marine coral, is 30% lighter than all other materials used in trainers and absorbs heat in cold weather and reflects heat in hot weather. Incidentally, shouldn't the good people at ASICS be studying animals like cheetahs, gazelles and tasmanian devils rather than coral? Anyway, I digress...

The Discreet Heel Unit (DHU) take the Impact Guidance System (IGS) to another level, apparently. My new midsole is the engine room of the shoe; it is contoured and protective and goes by the name of the Space Trusstic System (STS). I had a check on dictionary.com and 'Trusstic' isn't even a real word, which just goes to show how fantastically, amazingly modern and brilliant my midsole system is!

You just wonder, why after all this, they obviously allowed the 8-year old daughter of the managing director of ASICS to design the damn things, as it's probably the most gaudy, ugly shoe I've ever seen.

So having paid more for these shoes than my Grandparents probably paid for their first house, I went running in them tonight for the first time. And you know, they did feel quite good. A lot more cushioning than my old pair and if they stop me getting an injury (which is the main point) then it's money well spent. If only they had a Man Boob Reduction System (MBRS).

Good songs for jogging

Am training for the London Marathon and managed a 5k run in around 25:50 tonight. Which might not be impressive to some, but it's the fastest I've ever managed that distance in!

Tonights ipod jogging playlist on random:

1. Jay Z - 99 Problems (when you run and listen to this you actually think you are a black, rapping, drug-dealer who goes out with Beyonce. If it comes on while I'm out I sometimes punch an imaginary foe whilst running, just like Rocky Balboa)
2. Will Haven - Ego's Game
3. Bodyrox - Yeah Yeah
4. Prodigy - Spitfire
5. Hed(pe) - Suck It Up
6. Melvins - Honey Bucket
7. Kerbdog - Dummy Crusher
8. Jay Z - Dirt On Your Shoulder
9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Gold Lion
10. Strapping Young Lad - S.Y.L.
11. Slipknot - Eyeless
12. Rage Against The Machine - Killing In The Name

Any other suggestions?

The Fairer Sex

I have started to play a lot of chess lately and the Em Led wanted to learn how to play. So last night we sat down with a board (yes, we have very rock and roll Saturday nights), went through the basics and played 3 quick games. The missus seemed to take to it more enthusiastically than I thought she would and when I asked her if she enjoyed it she replied:

"Yes, it's actually quite a fun game".

Then after another moments thought:

"It's just like Tetris really isn't it?".

Not sure Gary Kasparov and other grandmasters would agree.

Free tickets anyone? The Automatic, London - tomorrow

Em Led won some free tickets through her work for The Automatic, tomorrow night (Sunday 26th November 2006) at the Carling Academy, Islington. We can't go now, but if anyone wants the tickets they can have them. Unfortunately we live in Rugby, Warwickshire. But if you can pick them up either today or tomorrow, just drop me an e-mail:

beforethirty@hotmail.com

Updated

Okay, I've actually updated a number of pages on the site. Only managed to get done about half of what I wanted to get done so the rest will be updated next weekend.

Clickety click.

Updates

Okay, okay, I know I haven't updated www.beforethirty.co.uk for ages.

I have a busy week this week (seeing Primal Scream, feeding vegeterians, giving a talk to Doctors in London and doing an exam. Some of these things are more fun that the others) but next weekend (18th and 19th) I'll be doing lots of updates to the site.

Exciting?

Oooh yes.

In the meantime please find a picture of me being a fat bastard.

Xmas present anyone?

It'd be a sad, sad man that used his blog to sell his Playstation.

Ahem.

23 top quality titles though!!

Buy it, sell it, love it...

Again, it's nothing to do with the site...

I never really intended this to be a traditional blog whereby I post banal and uninteresting thoughts on banal and uninteresting things. It was intended to simply give people a chance to comment on the site and possibly read blog entries about the list of things to do. But in the style of all the other 9 million blogs in the world... I saw three things that made me smile and ponder this week. And I'll tell you what they are. Yippee.

1. I was staying in the Marriot Hotel in Leeds and after working during the day I came back to my room to find the picture you can see above. For those with bad eyesight it says,

"Please help our Hotel Environment / Energy Team by turning off lights and cooling / heating when leaving your room. Every little saving helps the planet."

As you've probably realised by now, this nugget of information was displayed on my televsion. Which had been on and wasting god knows how much energy since they cleaned my room about 8 hours before I returned. Surely, someone, somewhere, who works for the Marriott chain has realised the irony in this action? In addition to this the TV was on Radio 1 and was playing The Feeling, which is also bad for the environment.

2. I was shopping in Sainsbury's and wanted some cereal. I knew I was in the vicinity of the cereal as I was around the flour, bread, coke cans and adjacent to the cleaning products (Isn't it werid how modern marketing techniques mean that you get a sense for whats in the next aisle as all the shops are the same?). Anyway, I was looking upwards at the signs above the aisle that tell you what products you will find there and it turns out that Sainsbury's have a section known as 'Adult Cereal'. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera phone to record this moment, but I did wonder for a second what I would find there. Would it be 'Lipstick Lesbian Lucky Charms'? Or maybe a box of Kelloggs Special K with people on the front doing the horizontal mambo? Actually the 'Adult Cereal' section was full of museli, oats and brown boxes with 5 types of grain. Dissapointing.

3. I read about this brilliant story in The Independent. Some complete genius artist has decided that even modern art is a bit hard and has decided to charge people to look around an empty art gallery. The premise is that people pay, go in to this warehouse with nothing in it and are encouraged to "summon up remote spaces - through memory, body, speech and movement - reduplicating these spaces, so that they exist at two locations simultaneously". So bascially, they have to imagine artwork. Baffingly the gallery added that "We set agendas, we don't follow them". Quite.

I think there's a future in this, with bands releasing silent albums where you imagine the music and authors selling blank books where you write the book yourself. In fact, you imagine this blog and I won't have to bother with it anymore!

Very Important

I never thought I'd say this, but I think Girls Aloud have topped 'Love Machine' with their new single 'Something Kinda Oooh'. It's quite simply ace. To quote Wikipedia (which is never wrong):

Since the premiere [of 'Something Kinda Oooh'], fans on several music forums have called this one of Girls Aloud's finest moments and responses have been extremely positive.

The track is a step towards 'dance-pop' whilst incorporating the 'rocky' edge fans are familiar with.

I concur. Again according to Wikipedia, this new release is the first song from the group to be put on Radio 1's A List. Hopefully this will get the song to number one and make up for the travesty of 'Love Machine' only reaching number two.

To quote a wise man called Phil, "I'd go right through Girls Aloud". Amen to that.

Yeeeeeeeeeaaahhhhhhhhh

British Airways are still being rubbish

John Boileau
My House
The World

11th October 2006

British Airways Customer Relations (S506)
PO Box 5619
Sudbury
Suffolk
CO10 2PG

Dear Sir / Madam

Re: Compaint / Case Ref: 4764826

As my first and second letter have been ignored by you I thought I would try writing a third. I might try writing a new letter each month, just to keep you reminded that I do require compensation for the £400+ I had to spend due to your company cancelling our flights just days before we were due to fly (see the previous two letters for details). Do you have a policy for the length of time taken to repsond to complaints and feedback? If not, may I suggest one.

You may also recall that I copied BMI Baby in to the last letter I sent you as they gave us fantastic service when we flew with them after you cancelled our flights. Just 16 days after writing the letter I received a lovely response from Jemma, in customer services, thanking me for the correspondence. 72 days after my intial letter, and 37 days since my last letter to you, I still haven’t heard anything. Which is quite pitiful really. Anyway, I have copied the lovely Jemma in to this letter too. (Jemma, thanks for your letter -maybe we could become penpals? Do you have any hobbies? I enjoy travel, chess, reading biographies and writing letters to British Airways.)

Please be warned that my lack of discernable hobbies and large amount of free time in the evening working away from home means that these letters can be written fairly frequently until my friends and I receive our compensation. I might even make the 11th of every month ‘Write Another Reminder Letter to British Airways Day’ until I get a response from you.

Yours Sincerely

John Boileau

cc. – Jemma, BMI Baby Customer Services Department

Spotted

Me and the Em Led like reading the 'spotted' section in Heat. For those unfamiliar with this cultural beacon, it is basically a two page list printed in each Heat magazine which gives details of which celebrities have been spotted where. Although there are a few pictures it is normally just a one line description and the beauty of the piece is that they could all be completely made up, as the line 'Eastenders star Steve McFadden walking with a woman in North London' is probably true, as he lives there, with a woman and probably walks to places.

But on our honeymoon we actually had five 'spotted' incidences, so I thought I would publish them, Heat styl-ee...

Kelly Osbourne walking through the reception of the MGM Grand Hotel with three friends.
Steve, the bodyguard from Jerry Springer walking with his family down Las Vegas Boulevard.
David Schwimmer with friends in Hyde Park, London.
Mel B pushing her daughter and luggage on a trolly through Heathrow Airport.
The bloke who play's Chandler's boss in friends sunbathing and reading a book by the pool at the MGM Grand Hotel.

Brillant eh?

On another note, I haven't updated the website for ages, but will do this weekend.

BMI

Well, at least one airline got back to me. Still haven't heard from BA. You can also tell from the way than Customer Services Person Jemma spells her name with a 'J', the way she signs her name and the way she has no surname in an ambiguous way that she is blonde, 21 and foxy. Or is that just my imagination? Sorry, forgot I'm married...

Off to Vegas and San Francisco today - will be a great chance to complete some tasks.

Mr and Mrs Boileau

The Em Led becomes the Em Bwol.

Search Engines

My 'stat counter' thingy for my site can tell me which sites people have come from in order to get to mine, how many visitors I've had in the last hour, what countries people have come from to my site etc etc.

One of options is to view what keywords people put in to the search engine to bring up my site. They normally include "before thirty", "things to do before I die", "middlesbrough application letter" and general stuff like that. I had a quick look at the keyword thing today and found that someone had entered:

"things to do when you are single in norwich"

This phrase, typed in to Google, had somehow brought up my site and the person then clicked the link. This brings to mind many important questions.

1. Did the person believe that there would be websites dedicated to single-based activities in Norwich?
2. What is it about my site that Google think would satisfy a single person from Norwich?
3. Was the person adequately entertained by my site and therefore didn't need Norwich any more?
4. Most importantly, what do you do if you are single in Norwich?

British Airways are rubbish

John Boileau
My House
The World

4 September 2006

British Airways Customer Relations (S506)
PO Box 5619
Sudbury
Suffolk
CO10 2PG

Dear Sir / Madam

Re: Compaint / Case Ref: 4764826

This is my second letter of complaint to you regarding this issue. My first letter of complaint, sent to you 1 August 2006, outlined a tale of poor customer service dished out by your woeful company when you cancelled the flights to Belfast for my 9 friends and myself just 25 days before we were due to travel. I’m sure you’ve read the details and remember that it cost my party over £400 in extra costs to fly with BMI Baby at such short notice and also resulted in us having to fly out of one airport and back in to another which was a right, royal pain in the arse (and cost us loads in trains and parking). I even tried (perhaps foolishly) to book new flights with BA but your booking website was down (see previous letter) and in the end we had to use BMI Baby (whose website was working, natch). Incidentally, I wished I had chosen BMI Baby to fly with in the first place as they actually managed to get both the outbound and return flights landed ahead of schedule, which in the current flying climate is pretty remarkable - perhaps you could contact them to send some managers on work experience there? To save me have to write to BMI Baby under separate cover to thank them on this success I have simply copied them in to this letter, thus killing two birds with one stone. Thanks BMI Baby.

Eleven days after sending my letter I received an e-mail from someone asking for further information. I hit reply and sent the information required. After hearing nothing for the past month I re-opened the e-mail and noticed, at the bottom in the signature that you can’t reply to e-mails from BA Customer Services, it has to be through a URL weblink. Annoyed that I didn’t notice this the first time, I clicked on the link (https://www.britishairways.com/webmail/custrelreplies?case=4764826). This doesn’t work either. Perhaps this link has been cancelled along with our flights to Belfast? Or maybe it’s been programmed by someone who does your booking website? Does anything work on BA.com? I thought I’d try your phoneline…

… but I gave up after 45 minutes of listening to that annoying BA theme tune played on a Spanish guitar and a women telling me that I was important and that BA were very busy. Incidentally BMI Baby managed to actually fly us from Birmingham to Belfast quicker than BA could answer a phone. Again, very impressive BMI Baby.

Therefore I am resorting to sending the information you require via letter as I cannot seem to contact you any other way. Can I suggest that BA follow the rest of the free-thinking world and allow two-way communication via the medium of e-mail? I assure you it is much more effective than a link that doesn’t work.

Hopefully a cheque will be in the post very shortly for my friends and I which takes in to consideration how much of a pain in the arse you have been (including making me miss Hollyoaks whilst writing this letter. Although I can keep up through the Sunday omnibus edition it just isn’t the same, is it?).

Yours Sincerely
John Boileau

P.S. You wanted my booking numbers for the flight. Obviously there was more than one John Boileau flying from Birmingham to Belfast with 9 friends on 26 August 2006 so you weren’t able to look them up for yourselves. Here you go:

2HQ578
2HFCHY

cc. – BMI Baby Customer Services Department

Tia Maria with Orange Juice for Breakfast

Went on my stag do to Belfast this weekend and had an absolutely fantastic time. I have to say that it is probably the most friendly city I have ever been to as everyone we met was so helpful, polite and happy. Let's face it, I wouldn't be particulary polite to a group of drunken English lads but we tried to stay respectful and people didn't seem to take any offence by us (I did manage to annoy a Scottish bloke by making his wife watch porn, but that's a long story).

I think that I've just begun to recover and considering I haven't had a drink since Sunday evening (aside from a Tia Maria and orange juice on Monday morning for breakfast... don't ask...) we can safely say that I am getting old.

If any of the lads are reading this then thank you very much for coming along and making it such a memorable weekend. One of the great things about stag dos is that you can simply say certain words to the people that went and they will start laughing, whilst others get annoyed as they do not know what on earth you are talking about. To that end I will say:

Oxfam bin, toffee crisp, babestation, my dense farts, love machine.

"Take me somewhere that plays Girl's Aloud Nick, I wanna carry on dancing!"

New axe

It's funny how your priorities change.

I'm rubbish on the guitar but enjoy playing along to the bands I like. I used to read guitar magazines for ages choosing which guitar to buy (like the Argos Catalogue Game you played as a child where you'd pick which watch or stereo you'd have if you actually had any money). Aged 25 though and I don't care anymore - I've simply treated myself to this guitar because it's cheap, shiny, sparkly and looks nice in my lounge. How camp is that?

I am getting thinner

One of my quests is to be twelve and a half stone. Now I have not exactly been Jabba the Hut size but in adult life but I have always had slight man boobs and a beer belly. I think you will agree that this is a very enticing and attractive way to start a blog entry .

When I got the idea for this website, which was just after New Year 2006 I weighed 15st 4lb stone. Yes, I know that weight exactly. You see, people who are feel overweight, are on regular yo-yo diets and have fluctuating size always know their weight. I can tell you that when I returned from my summer holiday after the second year at University (aged 20) I weighed 13st 7lb, which at the time was the heaviest I had ever been. I weighed 11st 13lb at the end of University (aged 21) as I had been on a health kick during that year and lost just over a stone and a half. When I moved in with my girlfriend just over three years ago (aged 23) I weighed 12st 7lb. And that is really where things went downhill. Moving in with the missus coincided with getting an office job which replaced my healthy ‘on-my-feet’ job. It is often said that moving in with a loved one and settling down doesn’t help the weight and it appears that this is true, as I peaked at 15st 4lb as I celebrated this New Year in January 2006. So while I wasn’t quite Robbie Coltrane size (I am 6 foot tall) I was carrying a nice set of ‘moobs’ (wonderful term for man boobs), a cracking beer belly and was happily filling 36” trousers for which I had never had a use for at any other point of my life.

So, as I was saying, 15st 4lb. The heaviest I had ever been. Now there is a lot of arse spoken about diets and it appears that most people are on the holy grail to loose weight with out actually doing anything different in life. I myself have been on this trek for the holy grail for years. A couple of years ago during a larger stage in life I joined weight watchers, but of course, it wasn’t successful. I used to work in the offices of a hospital with mainly women and I used to go at lunchtime with my colleagues. I was the only male on the group and each weekly session used to make me feel like the token gay man on a hen weekend. I didn’t loose any weight and, if anything, I put a bit of weight on by eating lots and lots of Weight Watchers Chocolate Cake Bars. Another technique of mine is joining gyms. I love joining gyms. I like assessing which package is best for me and contemplating which have the best swimming pool and fitness facilities. Do they have good car parking? Can I municipal membership? Is there a joining fee? Whilst I do enjoy this gym research it all ends up as fairly pointless and I never actually go. Well, that is not strictly true. I normally attend fairly regularly for the first month, go a couple of times for the second month and the only commitment from months 3 to 12 is the direct debit of £40 that goes from my bank account to the gym each month. The bottom line is that I don’t particularly like gyms. I like the idea if gyms but that isn’t really as effective.

But as I sit and write this I am safe in the knowledge that my weight is just over 12st 7lb and that in a few weeks (nicely in time for my wedding) I will hopefully be at my goal weight. I have lost weight steadily and sensibly since New Year, with just a few minor ups and downs along the way. My exercise regime has been regular yet manageable with regular runs and weekly games of squash. I also try and walk most places. I am eating more vegetables, fresh fish, salad and lean meat that I have ever eaten before and my energy levels feel a lot higher than they have in the recent past. I am sleeping better and the main difference is that my craving of food (especially junk food) has almost completely ceased. However, whenever I tell people which diet I am on they normally tell me that I am a bit of an idiot and that the diet is a load of rubbish. Revealing how I have lost a bit of weight normally gets the same reaction as I would get if I revealed to a bunch of NME readers that I like Westlife. This is because I have been doing the Aktins diet.

The Atkins Diet is to the slimming world what Owen Hargreaves is to the England Football Team. Generally unappreciated, misunderstood, ridiculed and derided – you could be describing either of them. Hargreaves came good in the World Cup and, in my opinion, the Atkins Diet can be fantastic if done the right way. The first problem with Atkins is its’ imagine. It is a low-carbohydrate diet so you can eat cheese, fry-ups, burgers, steaks, chops and mayonnaise and I get the impression that people think that this is all you can eat on the Atkins. Reading Dr Atkins work a bit more closely reveals that he encourages eating green, leafy vegetables, lots of oily and fresh fish, lean meat, nuts, plenty of salad and many other edibles that would give Gillian McKeith multi-orgasms. But many people tend to ignore this side of the diet and have a fry-up for every meal before generally having heart attacks at the end of the first month on the diet.

My interest in the diet mainly stemmed from the fantastic book ‘The Hungry Years: Confessions of a Food Addict’ by William Leith. Leith is a journalist who, like me, has never exactly been huge but has never really been the ‘correct’ weight either. He tries the Atkins Diet almost out of curiosity after interviewing Dr Atkins as part of a separate piece of work and looses a lot of weight as a result. The book is a very funny account of a fat man and his eating habits along with a very considered debate about the eating habits of modern people. Leith portrays a very balanced argument about the pros and cons of a low-carb diet (I agree with him: you do loose weight but you look like a nutter when you have to eat a packet of ham for lunch when nothing else is available) and it is a world away from the rather propaganda-esq book from Dr Atkins. It reveals that as a species we have only been eating refined carbohydrates since modern farming started which is still fairly recently in terms of human civilisation, with some scientists suggesting that our bodies simply cannot cope with carbohydrates. Leith also points out, perhaps slightly less scientifically that you didn't get fat cavemen and they were all on the Atkins.

Anyway, I will continue on my ‘wacky’ diet until I get to my goal weight and I heartily recommend Leith’s humorous book both to those who are like me and those who do not give a damn what weight they are. Probably because they are thin.

Middlesbrough Fans

The nice Middlesbrough fans at www.fmttm.com have sponsored me some money this week for the London Marathon. This forum was where the very first story about the site appeared before going on to quite a few other websites. I've said that if £200 is raised by Boro fans alone I'll do the marathon in a Middlesbrough shirt. Hope they are well ventilated. If anyone wants to donate one you know where I am...

The 'proper' football?

As you may or may not know, one of my posts is to understand the rules of American football. If you are English, male and of a similar age to me (25) then you may have fond memories of playing the John Madden NFL games on computers such as the Amiga, Commodore 64, SNES and Megadrive. I would say that pretty much all my mates had a copy of John Madden on some format yet none of us knew how to play it as we didn't understand the rules of American football. Of course, you always had one friend who pretended to know... but they were lying (and they have probably moved on to lying about how much their house has risen in value - you know the sort).

I have had loads of e-mails from kind Americans, mainly living in the UK, who have offered to teach me the rules of this rather baffling, quite violent, name-stealing sport. I have actually bought a copy of John Madden 2005 for PS2 (£6.99, bargain) but simply can't face sitting down and learning it. And sitting down with a guy I don't know at my house, learning American football rules is just a bit, well, odd. So I thought that maybe I could have a superbowl party for Superbowl XLI in February 2007 for all those American people living in the UK. Any Americans that e-mailed me, new American readers (howdy) or people who know Americans are very welcome to get in touch with me and get together with other Americans at my house next February. I'll buy some nice weak beer, lots of unhealthy food and some flags (Americans love flags) and people can teach me the rules. Look forward to hearing from you Yanks.

Ton

I still find it amazing that people are donating through the chairty page for the website. No one had donated for a few days then today someone donates £100. £100!!! Unbelievable.

It's like the Million Dollar Homepage, but poorly built, poorly executed and I'm interviewed by small German football magazines instead of The Times. Aside from that though, identical.

Parsnips

This post doesn't actually have anything to do with my website. Sorry about that people.

When I was 18 and studenting I worked at a Beefeater Restaurant. I remember one day when Head Office sent down a whole load of laminated A4 posters, with pictures of food on them and a label. For example, a picture of a Banana with 'Banana' written underneath it, then another with a picture of some Red Onions with 'Red Onions' written underneath. There was one for pretty much every type of food we had in the chiller. The idea was to help people who didn't know what certain types of food looked like - when they were told to go and get a banana they could check to see what one was. And I thought that this was the most insulting, patronising, needless initiative ever.

However, I did my shopping at Tesco today and had to talk through with the girl at the checkout what half of my fruit and vegetables were.

Her: "What are these?"
Me: "Parsnips"
Her: "Sorry again, but these?"
Me: "They are swedes"
Her "And these weird things?"
Me: "They would be Mangos."

Weird. I bet she can name everyone in the Big Brother house though.

www.before... something.

So there appears to be a few sites fairly similar to mine spinging up around the place. Domain names similar to www.beforethirty.co.uk were registered around a month ago as this site started getting a few visitors, so I assume some more will be set up. Be interesting to see what they are like - probably a lot 'better' build than mine, that's for sure. Whilst I might develop the look and design of my site in the near future (with the help of someone who knows what they are doing), I quite like the fact that it looks a bit plain. it means that it's easy to update, doesn't take much maintainence and has a certain erm, quality to it. Or something.

I had an interview request from a paper in Manchester earlier this week with a list of questions via e-mail. One of the questions was basically, 'Why don't you have any goals such as swimming with dolphins, walking the great wall of China or holding a chimp?'. And I guess the simple answer is that I don't actually want to do any of those things. I wanted to eat a filet o fish. Which is now slightly worrying me, maybe I should have had higher goals?! Maybe if the great wall of China was a bit closer...

Stupid Boy Project

I'm obviously not a man that would claim to have any real insight in to the workings of a woman's mind. But I can give a small tip to the fairer sex out there who are looking to gain an understanding of how part of a bloke's psyche works. Those familiar with the work of Danny Wallace (and you should be, as he's ace. The author, comedian and all-round general good guy; not the ex-Manchester United footballer. Although I'm sure the ex-footballer Danny Wallace is an all-round good guy too. Anyway, I digress...) will be au fait with the term 'stupid boy project', coined by Danny's then girlfriend to describe 'silly' projects than men have. I guess you could say that my website is a stupid boy project really. But ladies, just encourage these stupid 'bloke' projects and they will love you forever.

What you can see on the picture above is a strategic, dynamic and fantastic training plan for me to build up to the 2007 London Marathon. Produced in Excel, it has the weeks counting down, what days I am designated to run certain distances, an option to put in my time for each run and a column telling me how quickly I would complete the London Marathon if I ran at the same speed on the day. Brilliant. And you know I'm serious as it is stuck near the fridge. In fact I was so serious about this plan that I deemed it important enough to actually go on the fridge, but it didn't fit, so I've gone for the closest wall possible (only serious important items get a place on the fridge). Whether I'll actually do any training is a completely different issue, but at least I have a plan.

But to go back to the original point, although the Em Led laughed at my Excel spreadsheet and gave me a sympathetic hug which implied that I was special needs, she did accept it. And that is the sign of a good woman.

MENSA

One task on my list is to get an IQ test and see if this is good enough to get in to Mensa. I went to their website this evening and found, unsurprisingly, that the test has to be done under standardised conditions. There is an online form to fill in to get details of how to arrange an IQ test with them that I duly completed. However, I got the form wrong three times in a row and the website had to keep sending me back to complete the correct fields which I had stupidly ignored. Hope they don't record this incompetence as part of the IQ test. What a bad omen...

My favourite pieces of press about the site

The Coventry Evening Telegraph: nothing gets past them.

My favourite forum mentioning the site has to be this one. It looks almost serious when there's no smileys or exclaimation marks.

Favourite headlines regarding the site include 'Boss? He is taking the PSP...' in The Sun, or 'I Am The Man, Says Cheeky Fan' from the Doncaster Star. I have a lot of time for cheesy headlines.

talkSPORT!

The last few days have seen things calm down quite a bit, but the site has been featured in a few of my local papers and I did an interview with Hawksbee and Jacobs on talkSPORT today which is an great show, so I was really pleased to be invited on.

The e-mails keep coming in from loads of friendly people offering support, advice and guidance to help complete the list, so thank you very much. People are also still donating to the charity page (www.justgiving.com/beforethirty) which is even more ace. But as Zane Lowe would say, people are getting on board. I have had loads of e-mails from people to say they are coming up with their own lists of things to do, before they reach thirty, forty, fifty or even older. Some are setting up websites, but others are simply keeping a list and doing fun stuff. So I just wondered, what are people putting on their lists? What do you want to do before you are thirty? If only http://www.43things.com/ wasn’t already in existence. I could make some money…

"Blog? Nah, don't really see the point..."

So, here we are then. First post. I feel a bit nervous writing this as around 50,000 people have visited the website over the past couple of days, so theoretically I guess a substantial amount may read this. Funny how your language and prose changes when you know it won't be just your mates reading it. But 50,000 people... wow.

Well what's the point of this here blog? Many people e-mailed me with comments, suggestions and invitations regarding the site and quite a few commented on the fact that there was nowhere to post any feedback. So having this blog does provide that opportunity. I also would prefer to keep the main site to just the tasks I want to complete, rather than random, dull musings from myself so this also serves that purpose.

It's been another very strange day today. An article about www.beforethirty.co.uk appeared in The Sun today with the usual Sun line of journalism about how I BRAGGED and BOASTED in a letter. Not sure if the Sun realised it was tongue in cheek, but at least they didn't use the pictures they took (I'm obviously too ugly, even for the Sun). There was a really nice article on the BBC news website (just search for Boileau Middlesbrough and I'm sure it will come up) which spoke more about the website in general, which is rather cool. In addition to that the site has been mentioned on the Guardian website, football365, various forums, Century Radio and all sorts of other places.

However, the response of people is the startling thing, and I guess that is the subject of my first post (finally). I've received hundreds and hundreds of e-mails from people, all of them really pleasant. I have had one negative one which simply said "You're a idiotic fool", but to be fair that's a fairly accurate comment so I don't really have any grumbles. I've had invites to write and record a song with someone, the opportunity to drive in a car from Land's End to John O'Groats tomorrow (it's a bit short notice Carl, but I really appreciate the offer and if I wasn't off to Prague tomorrow we'd be spending 8 hours with lots of nice awkward conversation, but alas...) and many, many people trying to explain the rules of American Football. I still don't get it. Shedloads of people have pointed out that my bet on Eurovision wasn't 10-1, it was 9-1. So the nice people at Betfair have offered me a £50 charity bet for Breast Cancer Care on a specially fixed 10-1 shot on England. They have also invited me to join them for a 'Poker Lunch' whatever that is. Presumably it's where you eat chips. Geddit?

I'm now an expert in how to avoid parking tickets - Ian informed me that whenever he gets a ticket he writes to the council to tell them that he was helping an old lady who has fallen over. Genius. Matt from Exeter, who is a mere 22, decided that his life needed something like this and is off to create his 'before thirty' list. Good on you Matt. A celebrity (who I admire greatly) got in touch to ask me if I'd like to be an extra in his TV show. Obviously I told him to piss off, now that I have 50,000 people on my site he can come and appear in mine. Actually, that's not true. I fell off my chair. And then said "yes please".

I now have various methods to remember how many days are in each month. I've been invited to eat shrimp in Taiwan (cheers David), play poker in Morecombe (cheers Deano) and watch a Real Madrid game for free (cheers Nick).

Man Weekend got in touch. Man Weekend are... well... they're... well, I'll let them explain:

"we are a group of esteemed men that like to celebrate manliness in the form of 'Man Weekend' (c), which provide a welcome break from the rigours of girlfriends, work, etc etc. One of our shared passions is football manager - we fully and wholeheartedly understand both the relevance and importance of it! Our last Man Weekend was to Madrid where we saw the glorious Real, something that clearly needs no explanation to a man of your managerial experience. We feel that you have demonstrated an excellent understanding of what it means to be a man and therefore would like to invite you to be an honoury patron of Man Weekend. This accolade has been showered on such talismen as Ross Kemp among others for his service to Ultimate Force....although he is yet to confirm!"

That's just genius. They've sent me a man-based application form but I haven't had chance to fill it in yet, I hope they let me join.

The best thing about the site though has been the money. I haven't made any, but lots of people e-mailed saying I should. Now I'm a luck man, with a job I enjoy and enough money to buy a few nice things and stay happy. So I'm okay ta. But to raise some money for Breast Cancer Care would be really cool, as my Mum had treatment for this horrible disease last year and it is a cancer that effects so many people either directly or indirectly. So I reasoned that if people are nice enough to simply offer to help with my list, maybe they'll just give to a charity. For no reason. And then I pulled myself together and thought... "Nah". But lo and behold - just under £200 has been pledged! Amazing stuff. And it's put a smile on my face all day. You can contribute to at www.justgiving.com/beforethirty

I'm off to Prague this weekend for Soapy Walrus' stag do. If there are any people reading from Dublin you'd be advised to listen to Newstalk106 who are doing an interview with me at about 6pm. I did warn them that being the second day of a stag do, I might not make the most sense. But being Irish, this didn't phase them at all, so we'll see what happens.